Morning Cup Of Joe

It still bums me out to think that my mom gave away my entire Star Wars collection for 50 bucks when I was away at college.  But when I see a video like this, it makes me think maybe (but only maybe) it was for the best.

Buried deep in my list of things to do has been the task of transcribing and editing an audio interview I did with my friend & colleague, Valerie Waters. (Note to self: In the future, only do PROfiles by email.  Transcribing is clearly not one of my stronger points)  Finally, here it is - for your blog-reading enjoyment…

While her name is usually prefaced by the title of “celebrity trainer” - I suspect this has something to do with the fact that her clients include Jennifer Garner, Jessica Biel, Cindy Crawford and too many other Hollywood starlets to mention - Val’s pride & joy is her own creation, the ValSlide.  It’s an amazingly simple piece of equipment, but when used correctly, the ValSlide can be every bit as versatile (and effective) as a stability ball or a set of adjustable dumbbells.

I suppose it might’ve been tempting for Val to keep her ’secret weapon’ to herself, but because she sees a bigger picture than simply maintaining her status as the go-to trainer when it comes to creating that long, lean Hollywood look, don’t be too surprised if you find the ValSlide in a store near you (or you could just order ‘em online like everyone else does in these modern, technological times).

While she catches occasional flack from those who argue that “long & lean” is determined by genetics, and unless she’s reattaching a muscle’s origin and insertion points, she’s not ‘creating’ anything, there’s no denying the results her clients get - and THAT’S what it’s all about.

“I do train different than some of my colleagues who I admire and respect, but even Mike Boyle and I can agree to disagree” Val tells me.  “We’re not gonna train the same.”

A “Not Very Fancy” Day in the Life of Valerie Waters

“I work out at home first thing in the morning; followed by the usual shower/breakfast/feed my doggies routine.  I see my first client at 9; afternoons are spent in the office, working on various projects.  I may see another client or 2 later in the day, but I like to wind down by 6pm, maybe do some yoga.  That’s about it - Nothing fancy.”

Even though Val has worked with celebs most trainers would give thier right biceps brachii to train, she says, “I keep learning more… getting inspired by all of my colleagues when I watch what they’re doing.  I want to see what you do with your blog.  I want to see what Alwyn (Cosgrove) does with his DVDs.  I want to see what Mike Boyle is doing with his coaching - because I learn from everybody.”

Not the complacent type by any means, she adds, “I want to continue to grow as a person and as a trainer; to grow my business in a way that I’m able to provide great information that people find use-able.

“I know I’m a good trainer.  I feel good about what I create for my clients, but I’m famous only because my clients are famous. What I would really like to be known for what is what I bring to the table.”

<BEEP>

“Joe, could you hang on a minute?  That’s Jennifer (Garner) on the other line.”

Val, between the ValSlide and your Red Carpet Ready guide, I’ve already forgotten who you’re talking to.

“Will my training partners think I’m a wuss if I wear ‘em?”
“Will they help my grip?”
“But what about these bleeding callouses?”
“Do these gloves make my butt look fat?”

Personally, I know that if I can’t grate a block of Parmesan cheese by dragging it across my palms, I’ve been slacking on my workouts.

Professionally, I have clients who, for one reason or another, can’t go around with calloused, bleeding hands, so I can’t always rely on my standard “don’t be a candy-ass” response when asked what I think about lifting gloves.

If you’re into powerlifting or Olympic lifting, you know that gloves aren’t allowed on the platform, so it wouldn’t make much sense for a competitive lifter to wear ‘em during training.

But what the regular guy/gal in the gym?

Perhaps a more meaningful way of looking at the glove/no-glove question for the non-competitive weight lifter is to ask: Is there a legitimate reason to NOT wear gloves?

It’s what yoga/pilates idiots freaks enthusiasts refer to as ‘mind-body connection’.  The rest of us can just lump it under the category of “proprioceptive awareness”.

Call it whatever you like, but gloves dampen your body’s natural ability to FEEL.  And that sense of feeling is something I certainly wouldn’t want to lose.

What you feel determines how quickly and accurately you can react to sudden (or not so sudden) changes in pressure, direction, ‘grippy-ness’ or any other forces that may come into play in and out of the gym.

If grip is your concern, try lifting chalk (magnesium carbonate - it’s available at sporting goods stores everywhere.  If all else fails, search the web)

The shifting/rolling/sliding of a bar might not be a big deal if you’re using those little weights covered with pink foam, but any serious weight trainer should consider weaning themselves from their glove dependency.

Of course, the first consideration of any training program should be safety.  So if you absolutely feel there’s no way you’ll be able hang on to a bar/dumbbell or any other training implement effectively without gloves, go ahead ‘n’ wear ‘em if you like.  I won’t be offended.  (see, I told you I have a professional side!)

If your biggest concern is overly rugged hands, you can always soak in Palmolive after your workout (ya’ big candy-ass).

***** ***** *****

I won’t bore you with the details of my extremely limited blog posting for the last month or so (yet!), but it sure feels good to be back to THE CUP.  Suffice it to say, changes are on the way.  More to come…

I pledge allegiance

To my home gym

(The one down in the basement)

To the personal progress

And dumbbell stands,

Power rack with safety rods.

It’s incredible.

For deadlifts and squats…for all.

Long time fans, friends and fellow conservatives realize how hard it is for me to take anything remotely related to Al Gore seriously, but my buddy Jason White submitted a video from his visit to Club Industry East to be considered for airing on “current” TV.

If for no other reason, you NEED to watch it (click the video link above) for the preview of the “ABpuncher” - guaranteed to make ’shorter time for bathroom problem” (sic)  I don’t expect the ABpuncher to be on the market for very long, but what the heck do I know about this stuff?

While you’re hanging around the ‘current’ site, why don’t you take a few extra seconds to give Jason’s vid an “I Like It” vote so we can watch it again on the tube.

-JS-

Mother’s Day is only a few days away and I’ve been kind of lax on posting lately, so to make it up to you, I scoured the Internet for at least a full 2 minutes (probably closer to 3, but I don’t want to come across as some kind of a liar) to compile a list of birthstones for you rare gift giving types who also happen to read my blog (even MORE rare, indeed).

Apparently, at some point in time (maybe around 1912?) someone decided the ‘traditional’ stones weren’t good enough, so there are modern alternatives… Personally, I don’t understand any of it.  What’s wrong with just buying your mom a gift card to Home Depot and a 6-pack of Milwaukee’s Best?

Like anything on the web, there are differing opinions about which gems belong on the “official” list, so each month will have at least two listed.

January – Garnet/Roze Quartz

February – Amethyst/Onyx

March – Aquamarine/Bloodstone/Jasper

April – Diamond/Rock Crystal/Sapphire

May– Emerald/Chrysoprase/Agate

June– Alexandrite/Moonstone/Pearl

July– Ruby/Carnelion/Onyx

August– Peridot/Sardonyx

September – Sapphire/Lapis

October – Opal/Tourmaline

November – Topaz/Citrine

December –Tanzanite/Zircon/Turquoise

Anyway, to minimize any confusion in the future, I have compiled a similar (yet strangely different) list of my own.  Feel free to refer to this as the new standard when you just don’t know what else to do.

January – Deadlift

February – Deadlift

March – Deadlift

April – Deadlift

May – Deadlift

June – Deadlift

July – Deadlift

August – Deadlift

September – Deadlift

October – Deadlift

November – Deadlift

December – Deadlift

Happy mother’s day.  Mind if I grab a beer from your fridge, Mom?

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Hi Joe,

I read this today. I hope to write on it myself as to the implications of such systematic eradication of physical activity in our children’s lives. I wanted to hear your thoughts because I greatly value your opinion. Thank you Joe.

Bobby F.
Age 25
California

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

Bobby,

Thanks for alerting me to the story… As I read this article, my first instinct was to bang my head against a wall (or a fully loaded squat bar).

Now that I’m thinking (only slightly) more clearly, I’ll try to reason out a coherent response…

Should we blame the fear of physical activity on an out of control legal system? It seems like everybody’s looking for an easy payout due to “overwhelming physical and emotional trauma” attributed to childhood injuries (or the POTENTIAL of such injuries).

Or do we blame the liberal wacko movement that says we’re supposed to go out of our way to avoid ANY words/actions/thoughts that might be construed as “offensive”? (has anyone seen Jimmy Carter lately?)

If parents/administrators can’t understand that kids need to be kids, I suspect normal, healthy/active childhood games such as tag, touch football and the like will have to go ‘underground’.

Since dog fights are apparently on the list of things not-to-do, maybe we can start gambling on which kid will win at dodge-ball in an old warehouse. (Michael Vick called, he said he wants to put $400 on a kid called “Johnny Slaughter” in the 3rd round.)

There are any number of clichés/lessons one could learn from playing kids games.

• Life isn’t fair
• Cream always rises to the top
• Lose graciously
• Win with dignity
• If you put lipstick on a pig, it’s still a pig (I don’t know how this one fits in, but I love the saying!)

Back when I was a kid (I could’ve sworn I said I’d never start a sentence with those words), I tore holes in the knees of my pants by playing aggressively on the playground. I had fun playing with my friends. Sometimes I’d lose. Sometimes I’d get bumped, bruised or bloody. But I always got back up.

The more I learned how NOT to lose/fall/etc, the faster my athletic skills developed.  I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have developed those skills by just reading about ‘em.  In fact, we used to play a game called “Keep-away” where it was ONE kid against everybody else.   (kind of like football, but there was no goal line, boundary lines or referee)

In fitness, it’s all about the SAID Principle: Specific Adaptations to Imposed Demands.

If schools refuse to impose any challenges more demanding than tiddlywinks, what the hell are the kids going to adapt TO? And maybe if there was more physical activity on the playground, there wouldn’t be such a problem with teen-pregnancy?

The more I get to know the human race, the less I want to be part of it.

Now who’s ready for a game of full-contact Twister?

Everybody who’s ever lifted a weight surely knows who Bill Hartman is.

You mean the guy from Saturday Night Live and the Simpsons?
I thought his wife killed him… Man, that guy was hilarious!

No, no, no… that was PHIL Hartman.

But Indianapolis-based Bill Hartman is quite the funny man, too, as you’re about to find out. (Plus, he knows a thing or three about fitness)

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

Fitness buffs will recognize Bill as a contributing author to Men’s Health Magazine (and formerly of another well known fitness magazine written for men, but shall remain nameless for purposes of this post.)

Smart golfers are familiar with Bill’s program, Your Golf Fitness Coach’s Video Library Volume 1

I suppose I could also mention that Bill is the co-creator of Inside-Out: The Ultimate Upper Body Warm-up, contributor to Shape-Shift, Speed Experts, a Board Member of the IYCA and a chapter contributor to The Essentials of Youth Conditioning text, but that might be more than you care to know.

What I will tell you is that Bill is the owner of PR Performance Sport and Fitness Training and you can check him out at his blog.

(Oh, and he’s also co-author of the Total Body Workout (formerly known as The Muscle Prescription) with Adam Campbell)

Bill says, “I owe my writing experiences to Adam Campbell who saw my posts on a message board and asked me to start writing. He may be one of the coolest human beings on the planet that I’d go out of the way for, yet we’ve never met face to face.”

Well aware (and justifiably proud) of his over-achiever tendencies, Bill explains, “I’m the favorite child of four siblings from the world’s most competitive family (3 intercollegiate athletes and one doctor). I, of course, had the highest SAT scores.”

Yeah, but what do you do when you’re not working?
“Twice a week is date night with the lovely Diane, my wife and CFO. I’ve recently taught her to kick the bag and hit the target mitts which she just loves (she’s also a big UFC fan…the perfect woman). She’s always been a great wrestler. Most girls like to hit the mitts as they never got to hit anyone growing up. It’s interesting to see their faces light up when they make good contact.”

Who’s on Bill’s Speed Dial?
“I consider myself lucky to actually call guys like you, Alwyn Cosgrove, Mike Roussell, Mike Robertson, Brian Grasso, Rob Pilger, Pat Rigsby, Jim “Smitty” Smith, Robert Dos Remedios and countless others in the fitness field my friends.”

Brushes with Greatness
Bill recently had a client who is good buddies with George Bush…yes, that George Bush.

“I’ve stood next to Sammy (Hagar) on stage during a show. True story…he puts bleachers on stage and me, my wife, my bro, his wife all were up there and he came over and signed my shirt. Ah, memories…”

He even saw Ruth Buzzi at an airport once.

THE VOICES IN BILL’S HEAD…
“The alarm goes off at 4am. I then begin the mental argument with myself that I will go through every single day:

Unmotivated Bill: I’m too tired to get up.
Motivated Bill: Yes, but it’s the only time we have to train and represent all those things that your preach.
Unmotivated Bill: Yeah, but I’m too tired to get up.
Motivated Bill: Successful people do whatever is necessary to achieve their goals.
Unmotivated Bill: It sure is warm under the covers…It’s cold out there.
Motivated Bill: Sacrifice is about giving up something now, like a little sleep, to achieve something greater later on, like a lean, muscular physique.
Unmotivated Bill: I’ll just hit the snooze one time then?
Motivated Bill: Get up you pussy. It’s time to train!!
Unmotivated Bill: Okay! I’m up… I’m up!

“I dress, get a workout drink and walk all the way down the hall and then down into my palatial gym…1,000 square feet of top of the line equipment and gear with all the bells and half the whistles.

“My warm-up is either a body weight circuit, barbell circuit, or some form of interval training followed by mobility exercises. Lately it’s been intervals due to fatigue and I’ve been on a fat loss program for a while (down a total of 28 pounds since Thanksgiving).

“I’ll be switching to a hypertrophy program soon as I have been motivated by my recent foray into powerlifting.”

JS: Now you’re talking my language, Bill.

“Depending on the day, I read my Morning Cup of Joe (let me wipe this off my nose) and either head off to 1 of 2 physical therapy clinics that I manage or start my day training my early clients at 6 am. (As your trainer, I must advise you that it’s unhealthy to train this early…Yawn!)

“If I’m in clinic, it’s a 10 hour day and then back home to train late clients. If it’s a training day, I’ll have client off and on throughout the day and mix in some catch-up writing for Men’s Health, keeping up with emails, online clients, and website stuff.

“Lately a lot of time is devoted to planning the opening of a new gym that I’m opening with Mike Robertson, the Indianapolis Sports and Fitness Training Center.

“Evenings, I write, update client programs, or study something that is of interest. This tends toward the business side of things these days, but I’m a technician at heart and can’t stay away from functional anatomy, therapy and training stuff. (Unless the new Batman or Spider-man comic came in the mail!)

“I try to be in bed by 10 pm which means it’s usually more like 11, but I do occasionally get some sleep.”

Want to meet Bill in person? There’s still time to register for the May 17^th Indianapolis Performance Training Seminar

“You still owe me a steak, eh, Joe?”

JS: Bill, by now, I probably owe you two. And that’s no bull!

Fitness equipment distributors train their sales force to sell their latest configuration of plastic, aluminum, iron and computer circuitry as “cutting edge” or “state of the art”.

As such, it’s not uncommon for the typical gym or private training studio to start out with an investment of at least $100,000 in the latest & greatest equipment.

Now keep in mind, I’m NOT an equipment salesman - I’m a practitioner.

I’m also a pragmatist.

I ‘get’ that people have certain perceptions of what a gym *should* look like. Heck, they’ve been conditioned to remain deconditioned for the last 40 years. It’s hard to forget everything we ‘know’ cold-turkey.

I also ‘get’ that people want something to show for their investment of time and money. Isn’t that what it’s really about?

In 2004, I contributed a chapter (Is A Health Club Right For Me?) to a book called “The Power of Champions”. While the numbers have likely grown a bit since then, I explained…

• In 1982, there were barely 6000 health clubs in the US
• In 2003, there were more than 20,200
• More than 36,000,000 Americans belong to a health club
• Total industry revenues exceed $13 BILLION PER YEAR.

State Of The Art = Same Crap (Only Newer)
By creating more of the same, diabetes increased 33%, overweight/obesity is at an all time high and here in 2008, we’re not showing any signs of slowing down.

The “cutting edge” element doesn’t need to be the equipment, the environment or the logo on the door.

It needs to be in the way ACCURATE information is distributed.

People don’t NEED gym memberships.

Nor do they NEED personal trainers.

They need coaches/educators/mentors who can help them make the transition from “then” to “now”

They need accountability.

They need to have a base level of understanding of the consequences of their decisions.

They NEED to re-establish the fitness habit before they worry about the next “best new piece of equipment”.

Most of all, they need to accept RESPONSIBILITY and put what they learn into ACTION.

NOBODY ELSE CAN EXERCISE FOR YOU.

Seek out quality sources of information. When you find it, share it with your friends, family and anyone else who is tired of struggling to make a faulty system work.

If the fitness industry expects to be taken seriously (and not just as something you buy into while watching an infomercial at 3am), ALL OF US need to re-consider the way we provide our services.

Hear me today and believe me tomorrow, traditional gyms may work for the few, but they clearly aren’t working for the masses.